


Krystal and Hector v. Beelzebug

by thebiwriter



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4228650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebiwriter/pseuds/thebiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Krystal and Hector face off against a pest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Krystal and Hector v. Beelzebug

 

The bug stared at Krystal like it were some villain in one of those old western movies, challenging her to make a move. It was obviously trying to set a trap. Its eyes looked innocent enough, blank and staring, but Krystal knew that look. She knew those eyes were filled with nothing but pure evil, the malice of which practically jumped at her from across the room. She only wanted to watch Real Housewives, not have to fend for her life.

  
She looked at her phone's camera again, zooming in to get a look at its head. The black markings made it unmistakable for anything other than the threat it was. The wings popped out, making her loudly gasp and jump back a foot.

  
"Hector! It's coming towards me!" Krystal exclaimed, increasing her voice with each word. "Hector do something!"

  
The red and black colors on the damn thing tried to trick people, but it was of no use on her. This insect was nothing like its cousin, and Krystal knew that thanks to the wonders of Google.

  
"What is it?" Hector shouted from the other side of the penthouse. He was in the bathroom about to shower. "What's coming towards you?" 

  
Krystal scrunched up her face and scooted further back on the sectional, the very sight of the insect nauseated her beyond belief. "That Asian lady beetle thing! It's coming towards me, it's gonna, like, sting me, or something!"

  
Hector sighed and turned on the water. "A ladybug is chasing you?"

  
"No, Hector!" Krystal said annoyedly. "This is an Asian beetle which is very aggressive! What ladybug stings, Hector, riddle me that!"

  
He laughed and stepped into the shower. "You can handle yourself, babe, I believe in you!"

  
Krystal looked at it again in disgust. "I swear to god if you don't get in here and kill it we won't have sex for a week!" She turns her head back sharply and clicks her tongue. Steam was coming out from the bathroom door. "Hector, honey?"

  
"Hmm?"

  
"Are you taking a frickin shower while I'm in mortal danger? What the hell!"

  
The beetle buzzed towards her and she shrieked, running into the kitchen and grabbing a large metal pan. "Come at me, you little jerk, I dare you to mess with me!" She whispered menacingly. Apparently the demon understood her. 

  
Krystal dropped the pan as the beetle flew over and she leaped under the table.

  
"Hector, you can jump in any time!" She frantically shouted.

  
"I thought you didn't like gender roles!"

 

“Are you saying that as a legit concern or do you just not want to kill a bug?” Krystal took a deep breath and decided to bring out the big guns. “Or do you not love me anymore?”

 

“That’s not fair! I was just saying–”

  
"This isn't about gender roles," Krystal interrupted, "and this isn't about you needing to kill the bug because you're, like, a man, or whatever. This is about you needing to kill the bug because I don't do insects!" 

  
She heard Hector sigh as he cut off the water and grabbed a towel.

  
"Where is it?" He asked, walking down the hallway. "Wh- holy shit!" Hector jumped and ran to Krystal, who was still hunched under the table. A searing pain shot through his neck and radiated throughout his upper body. 

  
"It bit me!" He loudly complained. "The damn thing but me! A ladybug!"

  
"Japanese lady beetle, actually," she corrected, "but it's not like I did my research or anything."

  
Hector curled towards Krystal and hugged her closely to himself. "Maybe if we're quiet, it'll go away."

  
"Maybe if you kill it," Krystal said, "I'll do that thing you like with Rod-tasha."

  
Hector looked at her lovingly and kissed her. "God, I love you." With that, he jumped out from under the table with only a spatula as a weapon.  Wow, he was hot. 

  
Hector swiped at the beetle, but missed. The beetle, the beelzebug flew around and landed on the back of Hector's neck. He froze and dropped the spatula on the ground, landing with a clank. 

  
"Krystal, help me." Hector said through gritted teeth. A cold chill ran up his spine. “It’s on me.”

  
"I don't do-"   


 

"Please, baby, I don't wanna die tonight." His voice sounded as though he were holding back tears. Krystal weighed her options; either she could let Hector die or she could save him and then have wild ‘we almost died’ sex.

  
"Okay." 

  
Krystal stealthily and slowly rolled out from under the table and crawled towards Hector. "It's going to be okay." She said as a tear trickled down her cheek. She picked up the spatula by his feet and tentatively rose to her full height (which was about a foot and a half shorter than her boyfriend.)

  
"I love you." She said as she brought down the spatula onto her boyfriend's back. He shouted and dropped to his knees.

  
"Kill it! Kill it!" He repeated in a panic.

 

“Stop yelling at me, Hector!”

  
Krystal squeezed her eyes shut and hit him with the spatula again and again and again. Krystal brought down the spatula at least seven times before she finally opened them. Never in her life had she thought she would sigh with relief at the sight of insect guts on her boyfriend’s neck

  
"Babe, it's dead." She choked up and, once again, tears began falling from her eyes. 

  
Hector stood and hugged Krystal tightly to his chest once again. The only other time she had gotten like this was when they ate out at the restaurant down by the news bureau and a moth had flown into her salad.

  
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm okay, we're okay."

 

“We have to throw the spatula away now!” Krystal wailed. “That was our only spatula!” She quietly added. Hector cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes.

 

“Sweetie, it’s okay. We can buy a new one or something. It’s not like we cook that much anyways.” Hector lowered himself and Krystal gently onto the floor, the tile cold on his back. Krystal laid on top of him and rested her head on his chest. He held her like this for a few minutes, running his fingers through her hair until she stopped crying.

 

“God, I hate bugs.” Krystal said.

“Are you okay now?”

  
“Yeah.” Krystal sniffled and fanned her face. "Do you wanna have sex now?"

  
Hector nodded. "Definitely."   


**Author's Note:**

> Just an F.Y.I, "rod-tasha" is the name of Krystal's vibrator.


End file.
